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The Pro game that almost was…

In case you haven’t read my 30 by 30 list, one of the things on it, is to go to a Pro football game. This weekend, the New Orleans Saints and the Atlanta Falcons were playing in Atlanta and we thought it would be a good idea to go over to the game and watch it, since Mark Ingram and Roman Harper play for the Saints and Julio Jones plays for the Falcons. We went over with the assumption that we could just buy tickets outside of the gate. Kyle and Ashley went with us. Anyway, the first scalper we saw on the side of the road as we were attempting to park. We asked him how much for 4 tickets. He said he had 50 yard line seats- 4 for $1,000. Say WHAT?!? No thank you, kind sir.

We park.. after going down the wrong way on the one way street- whatevs. That’s how we roll. As we walk towards the stadium, I quickly realize I have never seen anything like what was around me. It was like a giant party. One that’s loud and makes you uncomfortable. At least for me, since I don’t do well with large crowds- I know, I know. I go to Alabama games all the time, but it’s different. The Georgia Dome is already confusing and when you feel out of place somewhere, it only heightens my sense of impending panic.

We wanted to check the ticket window and see if there were any tickets left and there were not, but we found that everyone else in that line had been sold counterfeit tickets and the lady at the window told us not to buy any tickets from people on the street. YIKES. Talk about taking the wind out of your sails. We also saw the security line and people were being patted down before entering the stadium. Something else I’m not used to. The security at ‘Bama games barely look in my purse!

While the people watching was insane.. (seriously, Saints fans, y’all take the cake on how to dress for a football game!) we decided to walk over to Taco Mac and eat some lunch and then go over to Ikea and H&M. There were a lot of people watching the game inside Taco Mac and I have to say this, and I mean it in no disrespect at all, but those black women know their football! I wish you could have seen it! If they made a good play, they would get up and dance around for a little bit and then just sit down. I was in awe. Listening to them discuss the game was like listening to my husband and I was super impressed.

We headed next to one of my favorite places in the whole wide world, Ikea. Ashley and Kyle had never been and I think were little overwhelmed with just how giant it was!

We saw the latest fashion trend.. panty hose as pants. Yep. Ladies, this is NOT OKAY. I have zero desire to see your underwear through panty hose.

We thought maybe it was a one time thing, but nope, saw it again in H&M and that girl was sporting a lovely lime green thong. Ladies, let’s buy some real pants, Mkay?

While, I may not have gotten to cross see a pro game off my bucket list, I think we all had a great time and I am already trying to plan my next trip to go back to Atlanta. *Sigh* Why can’t Nashville get an Ikea, H&M, and a Container Store? It’s so much closer to us than Atlanta.



PSA- Parents of Toddlers

I realize that there are a ton more serious things that could happen to your child. There are thousands of parents stressed over ailments that their children are going through. My girls have always been relatively healthy- except for the occasional virus or cold. 
I have also debated about putting this out there, I have beat myself up about it and surely didn’t want DHR knocking on my door, but I figure if it could help ONE Mama out there, then it’s golden. 
Friday morning, I was trying to drink my coffee and wake up so I could actually talk and not just grunt and point around (NOT a morning person) and I hear some gagging in the living room. I turn around and Claire has her fingers in her mouth. I go over to inspect. Open her mouth and she has her teeth clenched. I ask her if she has something in her mouth. I turn to Addison. I ask her. When I finally get an answer out of her, she tells me that Claire had a necklace in her mouth. I turn to Claire, and her teeth are now unclenched and there is nothing in her mouth. I ask her if she swallowed the necklace- Addison tells me that she doesn’t think she swallowed it, so I asked her where the necklace is. We look around and Addison says with a shrug, “Well, maybe she did swallow it.” I start to freak a little. Claire is breathing. She is actually smiling at me. I don’t know what to do. It’s 7am. I call Rebecca. She doesn’t answer. So I call my sister. She hands the phone to Andy. He says he is going to call a surgeon friend. Becca calls me back, calms me down, and then Andy beeps in- he tells me to take her to Urgent Care to get X-rayed and then if she needs a surgery consult to let him know. Uhh.. okay. I call the only Urgent Care that has an x-ray machine. They don’t open until 8. So, I  fix Addy some breakfast and we get on the road to Urgent Care at 8. 
The looks I get about this situation at the Urgent Care make me feel like a crap parent. I didn’t chop my child’s arm off, she just swallowed a necklace that she plays with everyday! 
Maybe now is where I should describe the necklace. Addison got it for her birthday. It’s a silver chain with a heart shaped pendant that has a crown sitting on top with pink rhinestones. Let’s think about how THAT felt going down and how it’s going to feel coming out.
She gets x-rayed- it’s definitely in there. They think I need a surgery consult. This where I really start to panic. My child made need a surgical procedure to get this out?!!? The surgeon that the dr talked to says to just give a day or two and see if it passes. Urgent Care Dr tells me to come back on Saturday if she hasn’t passed it by then. Claire poops Saturday but nothing. We tried to pump her full of foods that normally make her go–let’s keep in mind that this is the child that NEVER has a problem going #2 and we normally are silently cursing because we have to change yet another dirty diaper. 
We ended up taking her back on Sunday afternoon to be x-rayed again. The necklace is lower and looks like it’s going to be coming out soon. She wants us to call if she passes it, but if she doesn’t then she wants us to come back on Tuesday. 
The relief I felt when she said she definitely thought she was going to pass it- I can’t even describe it. 
Anyway, we get no poop Sunday evening, all day Monday or even Tuesday. I start to freak. Is it stuck? Is it hurting her so she is holding it in? I decided that if she didn’t poop on Wednesday that I would definitely take her back and insist that they go in after it. 
Good news, Super Nana to the rescue this morning. She passed the necklace, with no pain, either. The necklace is now part of the outside world again. 
And that my friends, is why you should always remember that though your child may seem old enough to not swallow weird things, that they will. We have since caught Claire with another necklace in her mouth, a dress up earring, and Addison’s Hello Kitty necklace. I mean, hello?? 
Hide yo diamonds, Hide yo jewelry if Claire is coming to yo house. 
Also, for those of you who said that you did want to join the challenge.. it seems most of you are No Reply blogger e-mails and I can’t e-mail you back. Will you please e-mail me at

Yard Sale Do’s and Don’ts

Hello all.. we survived the yard sale. We did call it a day early, around 1:30 because, (did you hear?) It was the hottest day of the year…

Anyway, July was entirely too hot and I think it’s finally burned Linda and me out on the yard sale bug. This yard sale, flat out annoyed me. The people, for one. Maybe I was just a cranky pants or maybe the ys-ers are getting worse. Hard to tell. Could’ve been a little bit of both.

If you’re not into hearing people complain, then you might just go on and click that red button at the top left of the page, b/c this is going to be a LOT of it.

Dear Yard Salers,

First off, Hi! Thanks for coming to sift through my crap. Hope you find something you enjoy enough to pay a dollar for and go home. May I start off by asking, why in the world did you park in my driveway when I CLEARLY had my car parked there to block out peoples cars? And while we are on the subject, since the first driveway was blocked why did you go to other driveway and pull up? I find that the people that do this, never buy anything. And when I smarted up to your tricks and put a garbage can in the middle of the second driveway, why did you then, pull around it and STILL park up front?

Can we talk a little about etiquette? I find it highly unacceptable that you come up and SMOKE at a yard sale. I realize that you are looking for such a good deal that you can’t possibly stop to put out your cigarette, but please do. And when I say that, I mean, don’t put it out in our carport. Also, Mr. Smoker man? Would you mind putting a shirt on? I realize that it IS the hottest day of the year, but, seriously, it’s bad enough that you are rocking the jorts, put.a.dang.shirt.on.

When you finally find something that you can’t possibly live without, if it is marked $2, just pay the $2. Don’t try to barter me down to .50. It’s just a slap in the face.(Side note: if you happen to be the jackass that parked in the driveway, I am not going to barter with you, at all. )  And if I actually decide to barter with you on something, please don’t pay with a 20 dollar bill. Make me feel like you needed that $3 shirt by paying with exact change or even count out coins. I don’t mind! Also, please don’t ask to pay with a check. I don’t know you. I don’t care who you are related to. I am not taking your check. Who comes to a yard sale without cash? Go ahead and hit the ATM. This is cash only.

This is a note for people with kids. I don’t like it when you let your little no shoes, diaper only kids play with the toys and not buy them. If the kid will play with it at a yard sale, pay the $4 and take it home. It kept them quite enough for you to sort through some old dishes. Also, how about keeping any eye on those kids? Don’t let them throw rocks or come ask me to read them a book and then they slap my hand when I try to turn the page too soon. I am not a babysitter. I mean, I had my step-mom come and keep my own kids!

Yes, I realize it was a hot day. Do you actually think you are the first person to tell me? Seeing as how I am sitting out in it for hours, cooking my insides? Also, please do not ask to use my restroom or step inside my house to try on a pair of $2 jeans. If they don’t fit, they were $2.

The Lady Baking in the Heat So You Will Buy My Crap

We ended up donating all of our stuff in hopes to avoid a yard sale next year. We just aren’t strong enough to endure it again so soon.

A New "Family Trip"

In approximately 12 days, I will be boarding a plane headed for Jamaica. We are going to Sandals. I am so excited, because we have never done anything like this. We always go on cruises, and after the last one, I put my foot down. I said, NO MORE, until you take me somewhere else. You see, the last time we went on a cruise, Addison was Claire’s age. John didn’t want to take her, he said it wasn’t a good idea. But this trip was labeled a “family trip” which now included her. So, I said, either she goes or I don’t.

John’s parents rented the MAC DADDY room on the Liberty of the Seas, which was Royal Caribbeans newest ship at the time. The Presidential Suite was all ours. It was HUGE. 4 bedrooms and baths, plus a living room with a balcony which covered the entire back of the boat with an outdoor bar and a hot tub. This place was awesome.

The first night, Addison threw up a little. But I figured it was just from sea sickness. She didn’t have anymore problems. The third morning on the boat, which was our first port- John woke up not feeling well. Since this was during John’s anxiety times, we ended up in the Infirmary. Where they confirmed that John was indeed sick with the Noro Virus. In case, you haven’t ever heard of it, it’s the sickness they warn you about on cruises. It’s highly contagious and an airborne pathogen. We were now quarantined to our room for 36 hours. John was the first victim. I fell not 4 hours later. We are talking, you would take death over this virus. It’s vomiting and diarrhea. Sometimes simultaneously. For 24 hours. I seriously contemplated having them helicopter me out of there and back onto American soil where I could die in peace. They came in changed all the sheets everyday. Cleaned the bathrooms, everyday. The only upside to it was everything had to be delivered to the room and it was comped. We paid for NOTHING while we quarantined. Poppy’s beer? Free. Water? Free. They brought us anything we asked for. And we paid nothing for it. Once the vomited and diarrhea ceased, you feel like you have been hit with a baseball bat for a good 4-5 days. No appetite. Weak. It took a good 2 weeks to feel normal again.

Joseph was the third victim, followed closely by Jay and MeMac. Poppy was the last. Tracie never got it and while Addison never showed signs of it, we found out that she was the carrier for it, and since everyone had to take care of her while we were sick, they got it. Tracie had been on antibiotics the week before, so we figured that’s why she didn’t get it.

We missed one of our ports, but we were able to get off at Cozumel. We came home with a story, that’s for sure. That expensive fabulous room became somewhere we never wanted to see again.

This was also the week before Christmas, so once we got back, through all the get togethers and dinners, Addison ended up passing it to My aunts, uncles, cousins, Dad, Karen, Mom and Bill. Even my Grandmother, who had to go the hospital with it and passed it around her nursing home. They were ALL sick on Christmas that year. MeMe didn’t get it, b/c by that time, we knew what had happened, thanks to Google, and didn’t allow her around Addison.

So, this is the story that takes my guilt away for a “family trip” without my children. I don’t care what anyone says- that was hell. Pure and utter, Hell.

Update on the Cleanse…

So, you may be wondering what happened to the cleanse. Well… lemme tell you, deprivation- is not for me. Friday, which was Day 2, I vomited and was so weak that I couldn’t do anything. I felt like someone hit me with a bat and left me for dead. I had John pick me up some Subway on the way home and vowed never to drink the Ionic Blend ever again. Saturday, I got to start eating real food again, and it was nice. Sunday, I went a little overboard with Easter. Monday, I did okay with the eating and then Tuesday it was back to not eating, I drank two rounds of the Fasting Solution and threw in the towel. I couldn’t drink the stuff anymore. The weight loss wasn’t worth it. Now, my body won’t quit telling me to eat. It’s afraid I am going to deprive it again. So… I am back in the gym, working on my fitness. I made a friend who is ripped and helping me get ripped. I went running this morning with Claire- and that was a workout!! So, I am going to do lean cuisines, and protein shakes, and LOTS of fruit and veggies. We’ll see if that works better. :)

Sharing is Caring…

I tend to have those stupid moments. You know the moments when a second after you do something or say something, you think, “That wasn’t my best idea”.

Well, I had another one today and since I am so nice, I’ll shall share with you so you can have a good laugh.
I don’t know if any of you watch CougarTown. I love it. Well, last week, Courtney Cox waxed her armpits. Today is my waxing day. You know, the day where I wax my eyebrows and my lip( don’t judge me). Recently, I decided to purchase some bikini wax. You see, I get Brazilian waxes, and although they hurt and include a stranger looking at your nuni, I don’t have to worry about that area for about 6 weeks and me likey. The downside is, they are pricey. And, I thought, I could cut back some expenses by doing it myself. I must say, I have only done it once or twice, because lets face it, I am not that flexible. Back to the story at hand, I needed to shave my pits, and I thought I might try my hand at waxing them. I had the sensitive area wax and thought I’d give it the ‘ol college try. I heated up the wax, slapped it on, and thought, “This is really hot!” I wasn’t very quick with putting the strip on there, and when I ripped it off, I saw spots. It HURT. Not only did it hurt, it ripped skin off. And I was bleeding. Not only was I bleeding, but there were still patches on wax attached to hair that didn’t come off on the strip. I almost cried. Have you ever had to pick wax off of your body? With hair attached to it? It was awful. I hopped in the shower in hopes to warm up the wax so it would come off easier. Now, I still have wax on my armpit, it’s bleeding and it’s too sensitive to shave off the hair that is still there.
I want my mommy. :(

I’m over here… under this pile of crap.

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