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Y’all. I don’t normally blog on Saturdays, but I’ve got my cranky pants on. If I am being honest, they’ve been on since Thursday.

I keep trying to be all, “Rach, WHY are you cranky? You should fix whatever it is, so you can be your regular sarcastic self, instead of a bitch from Hell.”

Let’s have a look at all the things that are currently stuck in my craw.

1. The kids fighting. Addison back talking. Addison not listening. I was forced to take all enjoyable things away from her last night like her ipod touch, her tv privileges, and her coloring privileges. (If we are being honest, I thought she was going to shoot daggers out of her eye balls for that last one. It came to me as a last minute stroke of genius.)

2. I’m still greatly irritated by the punks who got in our cars and stole J’s wallet and my ipod. RUDE. Karma will come back and bite you.

3. I’m irritated with running. Specifically, why isn’t it easier? I just want to be fast without putting in any work. Is that too much to ask?!

4. I’m also irritated with my nostril/sinuses. I gracefully sucked half of the pool into my right nostril this week swimming, and while you’d think a nice chlorine sinus cleaning would help, it just in fact, causes that sinus to drain continuously, which means you get ZERO sleep because you cannot breathe.

5. Addison did NOT get into the school that J camped out overnight for. Therefore, we are forced to send her to private school. I would rather cut off my right arm than send her to the school we are zoned for.

6. The fact I got up at 5:15 to go run the Midnight Run course to see if I could run it under 30 minutes. (Okay, that part doesn’t irritate me.) But, I passed a lady. AND. FELT. BAD. ABOUT. IT. WHAT?!? That is the exact opposite of being a competitive runner. Which, I think we all know, that I am not. I don’t want running to hurt. Too bad it does. And I finished it in 30:50. UGH.

7. Same lady I passed, while I was stretching, came up and said something about me cutting off one of the turns. (Apparently, I took a turn early, following my path back.) I didn’t know I did this. My distance was the same, but it made me miss a small hill (the course is quite hilly, anyway!) She must have made the comment 10 times, which made her little running buddies also say something about it. Geez, people. Does it really matter?! It’s the same damn distance. Get over yourself. I would have said something, but these people were a good bit older than me. Sometimes I wish I weren’t brought up in the South.. all those manners.

8. I’m still jacked that I planned to go to spin on Thursday, thinking it started at 6, and it actually started at 5:30. Therefore, I was forced to run on a treadmill. When, I didn’t want to run at all. I wanted to spin.

9. THIS.

Zac. I thought you were my boyfriend. This is not okay. We only wear Crimson. Well, generally, you aren’t supposed to wear shirts, but this is just unacceptable.

Source: via Rachel on Pinterest

Help me, people. What the crap is wrong with me?!

A Tale of the Kitchen Floor…

You may or may not know… but there isn’t a house project that doesn’t turn into some sort of disaster because of the people who built our house, trying to save a buck. (me blogging about it, probably doesn’t help it’s re-sale value either. Whatevs. It’s an entertaining story.)

Anywho, back in January we noticed our water bill kept increasing and increasing, to the point we had someone come out and look because we just KNEW we had a leak. A $300 bill later, they found nothing. So J called the water department. After some investigating, they realized they had been reading the wrong meter for the past three months. Whoops. This brings us to April. Late April. One morning, J hears water somewhere. It’s totally normal for him to search high and low, cutting off all water supplies, etc etc to find why we hear water running, when no water is on in the house. He calls a plumber, they come out to investigate. We DO in fact, have a leak. But where?! Maybe here is where I should mention that our house is built on a concrete slab. Any plumbing issues equals no bueno, because you have to rip up flooring to get to pipes. While, I may have hated my kitchen floor, I certainly didn’t want my house destroyed over it. They figure out that the leak is in the kitchen and the only way to get to it is to rip up the tile and JACKHAMMER into the concrete to get to the pipe. Awesome.

My Santa Claus plumber (yes, he looked like Santa. I took a pic!) informed me that my copper pipe should in NO WAY look like this. 

Sad day.

Anyway, they ripped a hole in my floor, moved my fridge into the dining room, as well as the stove, and went on their merry way. Only to have the tile we ordered come in THREE WEEKS later. By this point in time, I am SO. OVER. take out food. And, ya know, not having a kitchen!

So, they start on the floor on a Tuesday. It’s a man and woman (not married!) that are cleaning up the concrete and prepping it for the tile. We come home to find they did. not. tarp. anything. It’s a cloud of dust in my house. I was appalled and quite mad that they didn’t even lay down a dirty rag or something on my floors to protect them. Even Santa Claus plumber left some extra paper to protect my hardwoods!

Anyway, we got out of there as soon as we could. I was thankful that I had shut all the bedroom doors, in hopes to keep the mess out.

J goes home later that afternoon to check on the tile progress, and walks to the back to check the mess in the hallway and turns and finds a man asleep…



No, he wasn’t a worker, but the woman workers husband, and also the brother of the guy who owns the flooring store. (Did you follow that? Only in the South…)

J is livid. I am outraged. Who sleeps on a strangers couch?!?! Why was he in my house?! Anyway, the flooring owner gave us a nice discount.. (apparently a nap on my couch is worth about $500)

So, I now have new floors. And it took me two weeks to clean my house from all the dust and about the same length of time for me to sit on my couch again.

It’s a ceramic tile, but looks like slate. I really dig it. Let’s hope we don’t have any more leaks, because I’d like to keep this tile.

I’d really like a rug.. or a small little island in the middle.. what are your thoughts on that?

What do you think of the new tile?! Was it worth the headache?

PSA- Parents of Toddlers

I realize that there are a ton more serious things that could happen to your child. There are thousands of parents stressed over ailments that their children are going through. My girls have always been relatively healthy- except for the occasional virus or cold. 
I have also debated about putting this out there, I have beat myself up about it and surely didn’t want DHR knocking on my door, but I figure if it could help ONE Mama out there, then it’s golden. 
Friday morning, I was trying to drink my coffee and wake up so I could actually talk and not just grunt and point around (NOT a morning person) and I hear some gagging in the living room. I turn around and Claire has her fingers in her mouth. I go over to inspect. Open her mouth and she has her teeth clenched. I ask her if she has something in her mouth. I turn to Addison. I ask her. When I finally get an answer out of her, she tells me that Claire had a necklace in her mouth. I turn to Claire, and her teeth are now unclenched and there is nothing in her mouth. I ask her if she swallowed the necklace- Addison tells me that she doesn’t think she swallowed it, so I asked her where the necklace is. We look around and Addison says with a shrug, “Well, maybe she did swallow it.” I start to freak a little. Claire is breathing. She is actually smiling at me. I don’t know what to do. It’s 7am. I call Rebecca. She doesn’t answer. So I call my sister. She hands the phone to Andy. He says he is going to call a surgeon friend. Becca calls me back, calms me down, and then Andy beeps in- he tells me to take her to Urgent Care to get X-rayed and then if she needs a surgery consult to let him know. Uhh.. okay. I call the only Urgent Care that has an x-ray machine. They don’t open until 8. So, I  fix Addy some breakfast and we get on the road to Urgent Care at 8. 
The looks I get about this situation at the Urgent Care make me feel like a crap parent. I didn’t chop my child’s arm off, she just swallowed a necklace that she plays with everyday! 
Maybe now is where I should describe the necklace. Addison got it for her birthday. It’s a silver chain with a heart shaped pendant that has a crown sitting on top with pink rhinestones. Let’s think about how THAT felt going down and how it’s going to feel coming out.
She gets x-rayed- it’s definitely in there. They think I need a surgery consult. This where I really start to panic. My child made need a surgical procedure to get this out?!!? The surgeon that the dr talked to says to just give a day or two and see if it passes. Urgent Care Dr tells me to come back on Saturday if she hasn’t passed it by then. Claire poops Saturday but nothing. We tried to pump her full of foods that normally make her go–let’s keep in mind that this is the child that NEVER has a problem going #2 and we normally are silently cursing because we have to change yet another dirty diaper. 
We ended up taking her back on Sunday afternoon to be x-rayed again. The necklace is lower and looks like it’s going to be coming out soon. She wants us to call if she passes it, but if she doesn’t then she wants us to come back on Tuesday. 
The relief I felt when she said she definitely thought she was going to pass it- I can’t even describe it. 
Anyway, we get no poop Sunday evening, all day Monday or even Tuesday. I start to freak. Is it stuck? Is it hurting her so she is holding it in? I decided that if she didn’t poop on Wednesday that I would definitely take her back and insist that they go in after it. 
Good news, Super Nana to the rescue this morning. She passed the necklace, with no pain, either. The necklace is now part of the outside world again. 
And that my friends, is why you should always remember that though your child may seem old enough to not swallow weird things, that they will. We have since caught Claire with another necklace in her mouth, a dress up earring, and Addison’s Hello Kitty necklace. I mean, hello?? 
Hide yo diamonds, Hide yo jewelry if Claire is coming to yo house. 
Also, for those of you who said that you did want to join the challenge.. it seems most of you are No Reply blogger e-mails and I can’t e-mail you back. Will you please e-mail me at

This week has been a tad difficult for me. Addison is having complete emotional blowouts about the smallest things. Here are some examples: She’s been wanting to watch a lot of Toy Story, so John picked up some Toy Story soup at the grocery store for her. When she saw it, she completely flipped out, exclaiming,” I only like Princess soup!!!” So I dug around and found Dora soup and she seemed okay. The VERY next day, she begged if she could eat the Toy Story soup because “It was her very favorite!!”. Tuesday, I was trying to get them ready to go to MeMac’s for a little bit and she flipped out because she didn’t want to change out of her pajamas or brush her hair or brush her teeth. 
One of my best friends is in the hospital with kidney stones and I told her we needed to say a prayer for her and she fell out again. She didn’t like saying prayers, she didn’t like Rebecca, she didn’t like me, she didn’t want to talk to Jesus. The stuff really hurt me. I was on the verge of tears. I just kept thinking… who is this child? Why is she talking to me like this? I haven’t raised her to act like this. When John came home for lunch, he had a big talk with her and that seemed to help. 
Yesterday, after one of her many drama filled tantrums, she told me she wanted to go shopping. !!!! What? I informed her that I don’t go shopping with mean girls. Only nice, friendly, and kind little girls get to go shopping. 
And now, Claire sees Addy acting like that and is starting to mimic the behavior. Shoot me. Just shoot me now. 
She is sending me on an emotional roller coaster of emotions. I don’t know what to do. We’ve tried spankings, spankings with the wooden spoon, time outs, taking toys away, big talks. I need all mothers of girls to weigh in on this! Is there a stepford daughter program I can put her in? I want her to be able to express her emotions, but not throw fits. I am trying to get it through her head that when you act nice, you get the things you want, but if you act ugly, those things get taken away. How do you do it??? 

Lady Biz Saga Continued…

When we last left off, I was burned by the receptionist at my lady biz doctor and was made an appt for Tuesday. So, on the big day, I arrived with a couple of minutes to spare, and sat down to wait. A few minutes passed and they called me back to pay my co-pay. So, I went back there. The woman asked my name and appointment time and I told her and she couldn’t find me on the list. *red flag* So, she just wrote me down and took my $20. I asked her if I came at the wrong time– I am super paranoid about going to the doctor at the wrong time. She told me no that it hadn’t printed off for whatever reason. So I head back to the waiting room. About 15 minutes later, the receptionist called me up there and asked why I was coming in today. I tried to keep my cool, but I am pretty sure my eyes were shooting daggers at that woman while I told my brief story of the crappy receptionist. It was probably her anyway.

So, I head back to my seat with the assumption they were working me in. Once I was the only person left, I was called back. I kinda sorta unloaded on the nurse, but tried to not take it out on her, afterall, it wasn’t her fault. But she told me she was told I called and cancelled my appointment. UMMM WHAT?!!?!?! No, that didn’t happen, at all.

They ended up doing my yearly exam… gotta love a little cervical scrapeage.  Dr. F told me that she thought that my problem was an egg popping out of my ovary. Not sure if I believe that or not, since I have NEVER had that happen before. But, a ultrasound wouldn’t have done any good since the fluid is gone now. But, she didn’t feel any cysts or anything on my ovaries, so I opted to not have an ultrasound.

I am still pretty jacked about the front office issues. Not sure what to do. It’s not my doctors or her nurses fault and I was assured by Dr F that I would be seen the day I was in pain if it happens again. She also encouraged me not to skip out my b.c. anymore unless I wanted #3.

So I ask you, virtual friends, what would you do in this situation? Change doctors? I would have to go an hour out of town to see someone in a different group. Change doctors within the group? Write a letter to the office manager? Let it go completely?

Soapbox on 3D….

I hate 3D movies. Seriously. I’ve never been a big fan of the 3D stuff, just because I hate the glasses and it gives me a headache. Back when John and I went to CEDIA( extreme nerd stuff for home theatre) the 3D TV was all the rage. And I didn’t like it. I don’t like 3D. It doesn’t impress me. Anyway, so John and I went to see The Clash of the Titans last night, and of course it was in 3D. All these new movies are coming out, and they are only offered in 3D and it’s ticking me off. Not to mention the craptastic previews of 3D movies coming out that we got. Seriously, they look awful. Anyway, the movie was okay, but I had to keep taking my glasses off so I could watch. 3D just doesn’t impress me. I told John that when the people look 3D, it does look good, but then they do all these fights and CGI stuff in 3D and it looks bad. Like, claymation, bad. It doesn’t look real at all! John said that he heard that one of the Twilight movies was going to be in 3D and Harry Potter and I am mad. I don’t want to watch those movies in 3D. And I don’t want to wait until they aren’t. I don’t understand why we can’t just have some awesome CGI and HD movies. Why isn’t that enough?? Stupid Disney for trying to raise the bar. I hate it.

Soapbox over… for now…

Digging for Gold

As most 3 year olds and any child for that matter, Addison is constantly picking her nose. She does it a lot when she is getting embarrassed or trying to avoid doing something. Like, picking her nose is the hardest thing to do in the world and she couldn’t possibly be bothered with picking up her toys because she is doing important work by digging for gold. 

She has been having a really hard time taking naps lately, and is fighting them with all her will. So, I expected no less when I picked her up from pre-school on Monday. Only, she fights them there, by taking our her rubber bands and chewing on them until one of her teachers takes them away. When she got in the car, she told me that she stuck a rubber band up her nose. I told her that we do not stick things up our noses and and she nodded like she totally got it. 
The next day John was putting her down for her nap while I was blog stalking, and he called me into her room. “What does this look like to you? It looks like a rubber band” 
Me: “Well, she told me yesterday that she put a rubber band up there, but I assumed she got it out.”
John: ” Go get me some tweezers, please.”
On my way to get tweezers, I grabbed my camera( what? this was totally a blogging moment!) When Addison realized kinda how serious this was, she started getting scared. And crying, just because she was scared.

John was able to get it out, but I informed Addison the next time we might not be able to get it out ourselves and it would involve a trip to the ER with lots of needles and poking.

I think she understood, but now she has some strange freak out around anyone with a white coat. I don’t know what that is about. 

I’m over here… under this pile of crap.

Thanks, but No Thanks…

I had a “real” post that I was about to start working on, but I JUST got this e-mail from my brother-in-law and had to share.

Happy Friday!

Freaking wild animals…

When I was growing up and learning to drive, it never occurred to me to be thankful that I had never hit a deer. In hindsight, I guess I was quite lucky. A group of deer live behind my parents house and at least once a week we see those suckers. Sure, I would see them crossing the road and they would jump 20 ft in front of your car and never even look at you.

Well, as of yesterday I am in that lucky few that have ACTUALLY hit a deer.

I was headed back to my mom’s to pick up the girls (thank GOD they weren’t with me) and I had to hurry to get them because I needed to stop by the bank and sign some paperwork and out of the left cornfield, a deer, literally, appeared in front of my car, there was nothing I could do, because the minute her hoof touched the ground, my front end was knocking her down.

I slammed on my breaks to keep from running over her.

Her head left an indention in my hood.

I watched in horror as my front grill popped out and hit the pavement.

She skidded a good twenty five feet on the road and into the grass. I immediately threw the car in park, grabbed my cell phone and jumped to go see if said deer was alive. I am dialing John’s number.


“I..I..I…I just hit an (expletive) deer!”


“I just hit an (expletive) deer!!”

I was okay, just shaken up. I just stood in the road. What do you do after you hit a deer? My car was running fine. I was so shaky, but unharmed. So, I picked up the pieces of my grill, double checked for the deer, which had run off, so I can only assume she was still alive, look at the tire tracks on the pavement and got back in my car and drove to my mom’s.
I told her I hit a deer. She jumps up, calls for my step-dad and goes and tells my granny(who lives with them). Granny tells Grandpa, “Rachel hit a grill and deer popped out!!”

Umm.. not exactly, but close.

I realize it could have been a LOT worse. Most people that hit deer, total their car. I think my car held up nicely, all things considered. Here is a slide show of the damage. I am just figuring Photobucket out, so, I think this is the form of a slide show, which it not what I wanted, but honestly, I hit a deer and am still in shock.

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